Today is her birthday, I just wanted to do something a little different - something a little quirky, something a little bit fun. Hope when she watches it she smiles. 
Having found out my spiritual purpose - having this done on the side on my ribs
I stumbled across a quote to day from one of the most iconic singers in the world and the singer of my "go to song" - 3 Little Birds. As i read it - it all became clear - the words were almost as if i had written them myself. I don't believe in copy and paste but for this entry - i changed the rules. it explains exactly how i see them, it explains exactly how i felt and it explains exactly why i miss them so much, as a friend - in other words "when i hear from them, talk to them, text or email them - i am Superman, When i don't, well, i am just Clark Kent"
Bob Marley > Quotes > Quotable Quote “Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”  I find that I no longer think about things, I think that I have given up - well - I think I have given up in my head - In my heart - well that's a different story - but that story needs to be locked away (for now).
It's the memories of the things we done together that are the most strongest - and I have found that I avoid doing anything that we enjoyed doing together, because I just want to be doing them with her. Whether it's reading through a house magazine and looking at the small little projects, or seeing a photo online and getting it printed and framed, or even going to McDonalds, or one of the local coffee houses. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder - This is so true, the more we don't talk, the more I miss her and wonder what she is up to - she has said I can text or email, but saw a couple of things the other day that made me stop and think - they said: "I want to text you, but I don't want to annoy you" "If they wanted to speak to you then they would" It seems like the friendship that we have said we will have is on her terms, when she wants to talk or have a meet over a tea and coffee then she will get in touch, I feel that I get in touch I am just annoying her and that I will push her further away. I was watching a movie the other day - Pretty Woman - if you must know - and I just wanted to do that final scene - you know the one where he rides in on a white horse to declare his love - Ok, so in the film he arrives in a Limo standing out of the sunroof, before climbing the fire escape to her. I just want to go round, knock on her door and say "I will love you forever, my heart will always be yours, my soul will forever be connected to yours always". I guess I am feeling a little lost today - you see I had a job interview yesterday - and all I wanted was a text message to say good luck and to tell her how it went. What does make me wonder though is how true to life "The soaps" are - you know Eastenders, Coronations Street, Emmerdale - you see they all live in these small little communities - people they were once dating they meet with, talk to and stay friends with. But, in real life (well, in most cases) we blank them, forget them and move on. And, thats my trouble - I can't move on. The biggest question or dilemma i have every day, is - Are they waiting for me to text, do they want to get in touch or text but to scared too - they want to make the effort to talk, but are just to scared of doing it - and if they are scared - then what are they scared of? | About Me -An old fashioned romantic who believes in true love, fairy tales, hope, serendipity, baking and telling the person you love everyday that you like them - even if they can't hear me ArchivesCategoriesAll |
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