I had to nip to the cash point tonight at 10pm - Why? I guess it's because it's one of my jobs.
On the way there I found myself pondering, about why I can't just move on? - why can't I get her out of my head? Why can I not just move on?
Then it struck me - as I was half way through my cigarette, I am addicted to her - How? How did I become addicted to somebody.
I mean I smoke and you become addicted to the nicotine - ok I accept that, I drink black coffee and you become addicted to caffeine - Yep, I accept that too, but how on earth do you become addicted to a person?
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean addicted in the kind of stalker sense, I mean addicted in her as a person, addicted to her personality, her warmth, her kindness, addicted in the way that you need a daily fix. I guess that's why I miss the emails or a text. I have become addicted to her quirky little sense of humour, the way she dresses, the way she makes me laugh, the way that when I caught her eye she would give me one of those wonky smiles or a raised eyebrow if it was not going to well on her side of the room.
I guess that's why I want to remain friends and still be able to meet up, chat and send an occasional email or text, not because I am trying to make her fall back in love with me - if that happens it needs to be a free mind and an open heart - it has to be of her own free will - "The Princess Bride" taught me that. It might be that one day she thinks about a special moment and I want to be there when she does, I want to be her last ever first kiss.
To me she is a song, a light - and that light guides me home, ignites my bones and she can fix me up (thanks Coldplay) - with her I get to be me, the real me.
On the way there I found myself pondering, about why I can't just move on? - why can't I get her out of my head? Why can I not just move on?
Then it struck me - as I was half way through my cigarette, I am addicted to her - How? How did I become addicted to somebody.
I mean I smoke and you become addicted to the nicotine - ok I accept that, I drink black coffee and you become addicted to caffeine - Yep, I accept that too, but how on earth do you become addicted to a person?
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean addicted in the kind of stalker sense, I mean addicted in her as a person, addicted to her personality, her warmth, her kindness, addicted in the way that you need a daily fix. I guess that's why I miss the emails or a text. I have become addicted to her quirky little sense of humour, the way she dresses, the way she makes me laugh, the way that when I caught her eye she would give me one of those wonky smiles or a raised eyebrow if it was not going to well on her side of the room.
I guess that's why I want to remain friends and still be able to meet up, chat and send an occasional email or text, not because I am trying to make her fall back in love with me - if that happens it needs to be a free mind and an open heart - it has to be of her own free will - "The Princess Bride" taught me that. It might be that one day she thinks about a special moment and I want to be there when she does, I want to be her last ever first kiss.
To me she is a song, a light - and that light guides me home, ignites my bones and she can fix me up (thanks Coldplay) - with her I get to be me, the real me.
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